"If you never change, than someone is still changing your diapers and wiping your butt!"
-Justin talking to his younger clients resisting change
Change can be challenging for anyone, let alone children. Teaching them to navigate transitions with confidence is a valuable life skill. As a life coach, I’ve found that the key to helping client's embrace change is providing them with the tools to manage uncertainty, stay positive, and adapt to new situations. Here’s how you can help your child feel empowered in times of change.
1. Normalize Change
Explain to your child that change is a natural part of life. Whether it’s moving to a new school, adjusting to a family shift, or trying something new, helping your child understand that change happens to everyone can ease anxiety. You can use examples from your own life or stories about people they admire who’ve faced changes. This shows that adapting to new situations is a normal experience.
Tip: Create a routine that stays consistent during times of change. For instance, if your child is starting at a new school, maintain familiar bedtime routines or weekend activities. Having a stable routine helps ground them, offering a sense of security amidst the new experiences.
2. Encourage Open Communication
Make sure your child feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings about the upcoming change. Open communication helps reduce fear and gives you a chance to offer support and perspective. Be sure to validate their emotions. Do not assume what they are feeling is an over or under reaction, no matter how well you feel you know your child, do not be closed to the idea that the feelings they are expressing to you are their truth, in that moment.
3. Focus on the Positive
Shifting the focus to the exciting or positive aspects of the change can help reframe your child’s perspective. Whether it’s making new friends, learning new things, or experiencing new environments, highlighting the benefits encourages optimism. This is where working on having a growth mindset can be incredibly helpful. When you teach your child how to use a growth mindset to tackle challenges, they develop a "can do, even if it seems tough" attitude.
4. Model Flexibility
Children often mirror the attitudes and behaviors of their parents. If you show flexibility and a positive attitude during times of change, your child is more likely to adopt a similar approach. Demonstrating adaptability helps them see that change is manageable. As children are developing, their mirror neurons are firing like crazy, making it important to be a positive role model for you child.
5. Break Changes into Manageable Steps
Large changes can feel overwhelming, but breaking them down into smaller, more manageable steps can make them less intimidating. For example, if your child is starting at a new school, help them focus on one aspect of the change at a time.
Step 1: Visit the new school together before the first day, giving your child a chance to get familiar with the environment.
Step 2: Discuss one or two new routines they might encounter, like finding their locker or meeting their teacher, and practice how to navigate them.
Step 3: On the first day, focus only on getting to school on time, rather than overwhelming them with everything at once.
By approaching the transition step-by-step, the change feels less daunting, and your child will feel more prepared.
6. Use Stories and Examples
As a species, we are story tellers. Children often relate to stories. Share examples of how you or other family members have successfully navigated changes in life. This makes the concept of change more relatable and shows that it’s possible to thrive despite uncertainty. Take the opportunity to role play with your child to help them develop the right mindset to adapt to change. For instance, if you share a story of change, ask them how they think they would have handled the situation? Do they think you did the right thing to rise to the occasion?
7. Encourage Resilience
Resilience is the ability to bounce back from challenges, and it’s a skill that will serve your child throughout life. Teach your child that setbacks or changes are opportunities to learn and grow, and encourage a resilient mindset.
Change is an inevitable part of life! Helping your child embrace change is all about guiding them through uncertainty with patience, positivity, and practical support. By normalizing change, fostering open communication, and teaching resilience, you can empower your child to handle life’s transitions with confidence. Take it step-by-step, I have faith you can help your child become successful in life, when they learn how to face change!
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